Here is where I get real. I feel like I am drowning. Not just drowning but failing at everything I try. I know we all feel this way at times. Like you have so much you are trying to get done and only doing all of them halfway. Or if you try supper hard at one thing then all of the others start to fall apart. Why is it so hard to find balance in our lives?
My friends have told me that I am trying to do too much, but what do you stop doing completely in order to focus on something else? The kids, the house, the blog (which I am hoping to to make a successful stream of income), the husband, myself? What do I drop? Nothing, so I keep giving everything half of what it deserves and feeling like a failure at everything.
With the start of the New Year, we all tend to look at our lives and think about what we would like to change or make better in the year ahead. We all make resolutions whether you write them down or just think of them in your head. Some people say they don’t make resolutions, they make goals. To that I say yes all resolutions are goals but not all goals are resolutions. Resolutions are goals you make at the start of a new year.
Some people don’t like to call them resolutions because they have heard that most resolutions are never fulfilled. Well to that I say that it depends on you. If you make the resolution, it speaks to you and you make steps on how to achieve it, then I think you have a great chance of reaching your resolution. It is when we don’t actively try to complete the resolution that we fail.
The turn in the weather made jeans shopping a necessity this week. . . the worst thing ever, well maybe second only to swimsuit shopping.
I walked into Kohls armed with $60 in Kohls cash, a 20% off coupon and the will to find some jeans. My adventure began with scouring about 20 tables full of folded jeans, searching for my size (I will spare you the actual size). Of course, I have to dig through each and every pile in search of the right size because there seems to be no easy way to organize jeans in a store.
The Joy of Having Long Legs
My first difficulty lies in that I am just slightly too tall to wear regular length jeans. The hilarious part of it all is that sometimes the longs are way too long, leaving me in this weird limbo world where nothing seems to fit. So once I locate my size, I have to search for a “long” which is ridiculously hard to find. They have “shorts” in every style and brand but “longs” are rare. Adding to the length problem, I am now currently in between sizes. The bigger size is comfy, but I find myself always pulling up my jeans. On the other hand, the smaller size makes me feel like a sausage, and I can’t sit comfortably. So which way to go?
One parenting mantra I have lived by for the last 20 years has been “pick your battles!” So she doesn’t want to wear pants today even though it is freezing outside. Okay wear the dress. So he doesn’t want to eat the veggies. Okay so just eat the chicken nuggets. Then later when I have to make someone take icky medicine, I can and will win that battle because I have to.
The Battle of the Orange Toothbrush
But when do they start to realize that “pick your battles” works both ways????? Yesterday we had to go to a follow up dentist appointment for her “sleep dentistry” that she had two weeks ago. They had removed 7 teeth and filled 3 cavities (yes, I know we need to do better with her tooth care). The dentist used an orange toothbrush to show her how to brush effectively. The only problem was that the orange toothbrush was too big for her mouth, but they used it because she likes orange. The toothbrush came home with us. I am sure you can see where this is going.
I had a truly amazing night yesterday! I saw Bruno Mars in concert! First concert I have been to in 20 years.
So a little back story to get us to the amazing night. . . I got a text from my friend inviting me to go to the Bruno Mars concert in a limo with her and 4 of her other friends to celebrate her 50th birthday. Immediately red flags went up in my introverted socially anxious mind. She said four friends and I heard four strangers, in a small space for hours. But I shut down the voices and checked my calendar. I was free that night and nothing scheduled for the next day either. No excuse to say no, so I immediately texted her back that I would love to go. If I had waited even one day to respond, I would have talked myself out of going. Social situations have never been something I willing jump into.
Mom Tribes are great. . . as long as you are in one. But for the introverted, lonely moms out there, Mom Tribes make our loneliness even greater. When we see the other moms having fun and talking and laughing, we shrink a little smaller. We build up the walls that we think protect us but what those walls are really doing is making us unapproachable.
Even back in high school I was a loner. I had one or two close friends and a bunch of acquaintances. I was never invited to hang out, not because no one liked me but because no one ever thought about me. It almost felt like I was invisible.
Fast forward 20 years and I feel like I am back in high school. Invisible again.